brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
