Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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