I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
