I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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