How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
