i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
