I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
