why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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