i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
