dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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