I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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