If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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