I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
