Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have feelings that need drinking.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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