She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
