Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
