the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
