I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
