I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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