at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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