Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
