He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
