Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
