At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
