I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
