Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
420 ftw
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
