You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
