im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Ketchup is God's man juice
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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