Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
