OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
