I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
