AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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