ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
