But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
