I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
