bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There are leaves in my underwear?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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