how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
