Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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