You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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