if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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