his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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