Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
