so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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