he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
