oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
