I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
