he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
