I'm jealous of your bromance
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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