I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
