A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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