Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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