it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
